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three-shot

Early drafts/versions, I guess. My early drafts more often end up as my final drafts, I know, but there’s a large chance I might make changes to these.

a phone call

he called me up, wanting to know how i was. i hadn’t heard from him in such a long time. it’d been years since the last time we’d seen each other, and i’d almost forgotten how sweet-sounding a voice he had. we made small talk, asked each other how we’d been, how life was treating us, how our jobs were going, how our families were and about whether we were seeing anyone at that time. no sooner had i said that i wasn’t did he blurt out:

“i want to fuck you.”

in the silence that followed, i could hear the sounds of leonard cohen wafting through the air from some unidentifiable point in his room.

i’d missed him so much.

waiting

i’m always waiting. always. i’m never really sure of what i’m waiting for, however. i guess i wait for many things. wait and hope. wait and hope. all the while, this red plastic chair i always sit on becomes more and more a part of me (or maybe i a part of it). i’m always waiting. always. i wait for love to come by on its glowing white horse, resplendent, a beacon of light in the dark. i wait for the time that people will open their eyes and see that there’s more to life than those boxes they stuff themselves into. i wait for the day when i can finally get the fuck out of this country and leave it all behind for new displeasures, new dislikes, new hates and a new set of idiotic politicians, policies and fatwas (in case i have the misfortune to live in another muslim country) to rant about. i wait for you, whoever you are, and whatever you will mean to me, to come into my life and do whatever it is that you will do to change my life. sometimes i get tired of waiting. sometimes i feel like giving up. no more waiting. more often than not, i feel like i’m waiting for stupid, idiotic, unattainable, illogical things. sometimes i feel like i’m crazy. but then, my best friend’s family and his best friend’s family and his best friend’s best friend’s family (etcetc) have been waiting ages for the second coming of jesus christ, so i don’t know, maybe i’m not that bad after all.

fucking homos

i am a straight man. i have never felt the urge to lie with a fellow man in my twenty-and-a-half years of existence. i have had five girlfriends in the past six years. all of them lost their virginity to me. all of them spent their nights crying over the phone to their best friends after i beat them up and/or hurt them and/or called them demeaning names (“useless, pathetic whore” comes to mind). i broke up with all of them on the twenty-first day of the month, and all via text message. they all hated me, and probably still do. and after i broke up with each one of them i would change my phone number and once again trawl the bars and clubs of kuala lumpur, searching for another cheap fuck, another toy, another punching bag. i am not a good man, but i am at peace because i know god loves me. i am straight.

i have a friend. she is a homosexual. she once told me that she discovered her homosexuality in the sweaty changing rooms of her school’s girls’ handball team (state champions, third-place finishers in the national championships). she has never been with a man, and has spent the last five years in a loving relationship with her partner, a girl who works in the same office as i do. the girl knows i know, and whenever we lunch together she always talks about how much she loves that friend of mine and how well that friend of mine treats her. they are in love, moreso than any couple i have ever met. they are good people, but i know that neither of them will never be at peace because i know that god will never ever love them. they are homosexuals.

Or maybe not?

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Categories: prose and poetry
  1. Jan 24, 2009 at 02:54

    I like the first one. Is there going to be a continuation to it? Macam best je :D

  2. Jan 24, 2009 at 09:27

    probably not.

    at least, not directly.

  3. Jan 24, 2009 at 11:13

    Ohhhh. Okay thennn.

  4. Jan 24, 2009 at 13:43

    but then again, maybe.

    we’ll see.

    i’m planning to put out a sort of d.i.y. photocopied (probably) collection of very short stories and some photographs, too. haha. one of my many plans. hopefully this time it’ll, like, happen.

  5. Jan 24, 2009 at 23:03

    it will =) lets hope for it.

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