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epic, abject failure

Is when a guy likes Twilight.

There’s no excuse for it, honestly. You can’t say that you like the hot, teenage vampire-that-isn’t-well-researched-and-isn’t-really-a-vampire (which reminds me of Simon Pegg’s appearance on Top Gear, particularly the bit about C3PO being an “emasculated homosexual,” except that in the case of Twilight it’s more an emasculated… sex symbol?), which basically is the only redeeming factor of the book/movie (for them girls, at least… pfft, women).

And somehow I get the feeling that even homosexuals don’t descend to the level of watching a shitty movie and/or reading a shitty book just for hotness value. There are probably sad instances of straight blokes watching shitty movies just because some hot actress they like is in it.

I don’t get that, honestly. I don’t. It’s sad and pathetic and honestly pitiful. Why watch a crap movie, even if it stars your favourite actress/object of your teenage hormonal desires, when you can watch a good one that’s, horror of horrors, actually worth your time?

Watch pornography if you want to get off, please. Sure, you might not find any pornography featuring, say… Halle Berry but I’m sure you’ll be able to find some adequate replacements. And if you can’t, then: A) that’s just sad, and B) that does not bode well for your future endeavours.

And girls, please, please restore some of my faith in, well, you guys. Because, with the exception of a few notable individuals (who shall remain nameless), all of you have crap taste and it’s depressing me very, very much. =[





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