Home > band, life and times, thoughts > welcome to the times

welcome to the times

In the back seat of a friend’s Wira on the Federal Expressway on the way back to Kelana Jaya from Subang Jaya, window rolled down, State of Fear (yes, them again) blasting through the speakers behind me, the wind blowing in my hair and onto my skin. Just finished with a practice session for my other band, the band that hasn’t practiced in ages and doesn’t know what kind of music they want to play or what direction they want to go to. It’s going to be two years fairly soon—I’ve moved from a foundation to a degree and gotten rejected twice in the mean time, and the drummer’s changed jobs so many times he’s lost count—and we haven’t written more than a handful of original songs, and none of that handful have really sticked. Moved from d-beat to some sort of thrash metal but now we’re moving away from that as well. We want to have fun, we want to enjoy ourselves, and thrash metal just doesn’t do it. I’m not sure what will, right now.

Decided that we’re going to work out at least three songs and then practice the hell out of them before we get our asses into the studio and laying tracks down for a demo of some sort. It’s been far too long. We need actual material. We also need to practice more: one hour once a week just isn’t good enough. Our drummer’s in another band that hasn’t been together for anything approaching a year and they’ve already got an EP recorded. Two hour practice sessions twice a week. Half-an-hour per song.

That’s what we need to do.

And, as State of Fear plays and the wind continues blowing my hair every which way, I ask myself: “what the fuck have you gotten yourself in to?”. I am somewhat excited when it comes to both bands, that I will admit, yet a feeling of dread is clawing away at me. Can I truly commit myself enough to either band? Am I good enough for either band? Are the songs I’m writing any good? And will I be able to write good ones? Eight songs needed (three + five), and while I’m not the sole songwriter for either band, it’s not a light workload by any means.

While I greatly enjoy playing in xLumbrahx, a band which has a specific sound and concept that it’s going for, the confusion and uncertainty surrounding the other band and what we’re going to play (and how we’re going to play it) is, honestly, far too reminiscent of my life as a whole. So much so that it’s making me uncomfortable. But, then again, is it really that? I’m not sure. All I know is that, at this very moment, I feel very hesitant and confused.

Don’t I always feel like that, though?

Categories: band, life and times, thoughts
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