grammar cowboy

University is a total piss-take at the moment, and, while I hope things get sorted out soon, I have a feeling that this will take more than just a week to really sort out. At least in a satisfactory manner. I’ll refrain from whinging about it on here, particularly since I don’t have the energy for it, but also because I’m sure no-one really wants to read about it anyway. I will, however, take the time to mention that my opinion of the management has slid sooner and much more severely than I expected.

In all honesty I’m not sure how the fuck I’d get through all this shit if it wasn’t for my friends. This whole confusion and chaos has come at a pretty inopportune moment, what with all the other things—all the confusion about feelings and belief, about life and the act of living—going through my head right now, and if it wasn’t for them I might have just gone off the proverbial deep end. Or, at the very least, I’d be significantly more unhappy and bothered than I am. Not that I’m happy, mind you, but at least I know that I can fall back on them when I need help, or just some people to talk to or to spend some time with. Spending time alone during days like these may just be very dangerous, especially when you’re like me.

I feel very at ease amongst my current group of friends, and, to be honest, I like that feeling. It feels quite good, I have to admit.

Also, you know how some people say things like “he’s the younger brother I never had” or “she’s the older sister I never had” about other people? Well, at the moment I think I finally understand what they mean by that. I guess. True to form, I’m not entirely sure if that’s how I really feel about this one friend of mine, but, yes, it’s the first time I’ve ever actually pondered the usage of such a statement. I guess that’s worth something, is it not?

On an unrelated note, it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone when it comes to certain things, and that other people have gone through the same shit, seen the same things and gotten the same scars as I have. Sure, no two experiences are exactly alike but it’s good to know that I have close friends who really get what I mean when I talk about those things. Yeah, while this may be stating the blindly obvious, it does remind me that I’m not alone.

At least, not totally.

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