Home > observations and ramblings, thoughts > if god exists . . .

if god exists . . .

. . . and if he still loves us, then I’m sure God must be incredibly well-versed in unrequited love. Even more so than Billy Bragg. Or me.

It would be incredibly easy for me to just accept everything blindly, to believe, to eat up the preaching and holier-than-thou attitudes, but I can’t. Not one bit. It’s not to say that I don’t really believe in God or that I’ve decided to walk away from “my” faith, but the more I live the more and more I dislike all the preaching, all the holier-than-thou attitudes, all the rules, all the obligations and how we’ve all got to do it for God or else it doesn’t count. It’s just stupid. Apparently music and art events for charity are useless since God doesn’t accept our donations. We won’t get our “rewards,” apparently.

Well fuck you, I’ll do things because I feel like I should, not because I want some intangible reward from someone who may or may not exist. I don’t need promises of happiness in the afterlife to make me do good things. The knowledge that I helped, regardless of whether I’ll get something in return, is good enough.

These lyrics say it better than I can:

If I wanted your fairy tales condeming all but those who place all their hope in your salvation
I’d wear it around my neck along with everyone else who have nothing
I dont need your salvation
fuck your traditions
don’t need to miss sunday morning cartoons to know I’m good and wholesome too.

That last line rings incredibly true, although in my case “Friday afternoon daytime TV” would fit better. If I ever watched that shit, that is.

Just because someone doesn’t pray five times a day (or at all) doesn’t make them a bad person. Just because someone smokes doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. Just because someone expresses some sort of doubt in god and/or religion doesn’t make them a bad person. Just because someone doesn’t share your (supposedly right) viewpoint(s) doesn’t make them a bad person.

Sorry for the lack of proper reasoning and convincing language, but, really, fuck you if you think that way.

I’m not all that keen on this. Not keen on being like this. Doubting so much, disliking so much, it’s tiring. Yes, there are moments when I just wish I could believe. In everything. All that shit they try and shove down our throats. In all honesty sometimes it feels like a really beautiful thing, believing. Accepting. But I don’t think I can. At least not right now. And certainly not everything.

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  1. The little hippie
    Jul 26, 2008 at 13:08

    I have to say,
    I see it the way you do.

    We are good people if we truly are. Not because we want promised rewards which may or may not exist.

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