i am 16.

fluorescent anti-depressant

Tonight I started work on another story, which seems to be going well so far. I’m writing it slowly, dividing it roughly into short chapters (which I may end up getting rid of) and hoping that it’ll turn out to be something much more than one of my usual 500-to-1000-word pieces of short-as-fuck fiction. It might not turn out to be great, since I suck horribly at plots, but it’ll be an experience.

At the very least, though, I’ve written down some ideas for the plot and events and stuff. Which is always good. I need to do that more often, lay out how I want the story to progress instead of just winging it and hope it all fits together at the end of the day.

I don’t want to reveal anything about the story yet, nor am I going to post any snippets from the bits that I have written down, so you’ll all just have to wait. Probably until I finish it. If it’s anything approaching half-decent I might just think about getting it published in some form, but I’m not thinking about that. I’ll write first, see if I can finish it, and then worry about what to do with it later.

It shares the same title as this blog post, so I guess some of my more astute readers (if I have any readers at all, that is) might be able to guess what it’s all about. It invovles a fight. And a girl. And dissapointment.

More to come!

Oh, I also wrote a poem tonight:


long I ponder on a rainy night,
raindrops pattering on the window panes,
about the days when things were right,
when warmer blood coursed through my veins —
and I had you.

words said in a rage, they
are the reason why
I no longer do.

that sad spectre called regret,
it haunts me every day,
asking why I said those things that
drove you far away —
I wish I knew.

and as the night wears on,
I realize that
I still love you.

It’s a combination of some of my experiences, a bit of a friend’s, and a bit of imagination. It is not autobiographical. You can’t expect everything I write to be about myself. And, before you ask, no, I couldn’t be bothered to come up with a nicer title for this one. Feels like a throwaway piece, to be honest, but I thought I’d put it up here anyway for posterity.

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