Home > thoughts > the soundtrack to my life.

the soundtrack to my life.

It’s not some obscure album by some obscure band who only existed for about 2 weeks. It’s not a highly-regarded classic that makes music critics prostrate every time its name is mentioned. It’s not even music.

It’s the sound of me endlessly, viciously beating myself up. Day in, day out. Same old thing over and over. Any chance I get, I’ll just drag myself down into another pit, another morass of questions, and without fail end up turning a half-good day into a real crap one. And it doesn’t help that I tend to drag other people down with me. I hate myself for that, but it’s something I just often feel like I need to do.

Frankly, who the fuck’d want a bloke like me? I get myself depressed over uselessly trivial things, which in turn leads me down that typical path of self-chastisement (is that even a word?) which just gets me even more depressed.

And it all happens again and again and again. It’s a vicious cycle, a broken record.

There are a few people I like in this world, and there are a few people I quite dislike.

I’m one of the latter.

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