Home > thoughts > no rest in leavenworth.

no rest in leavenworth.

Every day I keep getting reminded of all my niggling insecurities. Every day those little insecurities take something completely normal and twist them into huge monsters at, without fail, drive me into a depressed, pathetic mood. I feel so horribly insecure and vulnerable I could fucking puke.

I have got to stop thinking like this. I have to. For my sake, and for everyone else’s sake as well. No-one likes an unhappy camper, and I’m sure all my emoness has had a negative effect on some people as well. It’s a selfish feeling, really, but something which I can’t seem to escape.

Of course, in a typically “me” fashion, the root cause of the problem isn’t exactly a depressing thing. No. But it always reminds me of my insecurities, my paranoid fears, my tendency to over-analyze and put too much meaning in simple, simple gestures. But mainly it’s just my insecurity. Those irritating questions that go “am I…” or “why would…” and bullshit like that.

Maybe it’s time I just came clean.

Maybe that’ll help, whatever the outcome is.

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