Home > thoughts > so here i go again

so here i go again

Today was just, simply put, horrible. Aside from some small highlights in the morning and during the evening (Persona 3 gave me goosebumps, to be frank), it was all just a mass of horribly grey depression. For God’s sake, I spent most of the day, yeah, crying. God knows why. Perhaps listening to Envy at respectably loud volumes “helped.”

God, it felt good, though. Curled up in the foetal position, sobbing, waves of sound travelling across the room and into my ears.

Oh God.

I couldn’t (and still can’t) think of concrete reasons why today turned out so crappy, but it did. It really was just my penchant for negativity and my oftentimes paranoid self-doubt getting the best of me. I mean, shit, it’s not like I can do much about the shit that I’ve been depressed and rambling to myself about.

I can take a good situation and find something bad about it. It’s a skill. It’s a talent.

It’s fucking irritating, that’s what it is. It’s not that I want to, but I just do. Somehow.

You can tell today’s been crap when I can’t even enjoy laughing at stupid quotes from football managers, pundits and players. Sure, I laughed and smiled, but I was still =/ the whole time, on the inside.

Now this is just bollocks.

I wrote a whole entire blog entry today that’ll probably just rot on my harddrive. Don’t think I’ll ever put it up here. Just because I don’t want the things I said there to be up on the Internet for the whole world (or, yeah, my readers) to see. Sorry.

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