Home > gigs and events, life and times, thoughts > kita lari, mencari ruang bersembunyi.

kita lari, mencari ruang bersembunyi.

I got little sleep last night, woke up at 10am today and, ignoring the need to memorize the IPA for tomorrow’s linguistics exam, headed out to have a bit of fun. It was either The Falling Grudge’s CD release party or the penultimate day of the Rantai Art festival, and I decided to go for the latter. Of course, the need to meet up with someone to hand her her Toni! This Is Sal! t-shirt that had been sitting in my room for quite a while helped in making my decision. That and Oh Chenta Ku.

It was enjoyable. It rained a bit, yeah, but not for long, and wasn’t too heavy. It was pretty muddy, but since I wasn’t wearing any sort of expensive footwear (haha, I-Path knockoffs liek wut) it wasn’t much of a problem. Made walking from the booth area to the stage area a bit difficult, though, as everyone had to take it slow.

Performances were pretty good, although the sound system left a bit to be desired. Live music is always enjoyable, and, really, shouting “fuck you!” with maybe 10 or 20 other people is always fun. Always. Gave Hujan a miss, though. It was either watching them or grabbing a bite with a couple of friends, and I obviously chose the latter option. Besides, I was hungry.

I actually bought a painting. That, and some badges and The Otherside Orchestra’s “Electromancetacy” CD. Really quite like the CD, although I sadly missed their performance.

Of course, though, I can’t rely on heading out to gigs and events to keep me happy. It’s not like there’s a gig/event every day of the week.

A change of mindset is in order. I really should stop obsessing over the more dislikable parts of my life and instead try to enjoy and appreciate the simple, positive and nice things in life. Things like my guitar playing, composing, writing, friends and so on. No, I’m not suddenly going to turn into some happy-go-lucky, illogically optimistic bloke (depression has it’s appeal, indeed) but I think it’d be nice (not just for me, but for the people I always bother with my depressive thoughts) to just be more . . . upbeat.

Haha, sad thing is, though, the most significant part of my life (university) is one of the things I’m incredibly pessimistic about. It’s certainly troubling, since it’s basically my entire future, but I’ve got other things to do, other things that’ll hopefully just help me get by. Things to enjoy, things to take pride in.

While I still find it hard to shake the feeling that this degree is going to be some sort of suicide, at least it’s my choice. How many kids out there are learning something just because their parents want them to? How many kids out there are learning something because that’s what’s “expected” of them?

Far too many, I think.

Somehow I’m still glad I’m doing what I’m doing. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a much better mindset to be in.

Also, tonight I decided to pick up my acoustic guitar (which is getting old, frail and, come to think of it, isn’t exactly mine) and do something I haven’t done in a long time, not since I moved here: play, and sing. Belt things out. I can’t really sing well (I can’t sing at all, really) but that was the last thing on my mind. I used to do that a lot in the past, strum and sing and have a bit of fun, and perhaps tonight reminded me of those times. I’d like to revisit them, but I know I can’t.

But, at least, a part of them still is with me.

The music.

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