Home > thoughts > your flowers don’t bloom. never bloom.

your flowers don’t bloom. never bloom.

The Toni! This Is Sal! t-shirts will probably be done soon. Only 4 pairs, although more can be made if someone out there (somehow) feels like they want one. It’s the “stick figures hanging themselves” design I uploaded a few entries back (also the cover of my ill-fated CDr demothingy as well as the default pic on the T!TIS! Myspace), and I’m sure it’ll look good.

I’m also gonna get a Godflesh t-shirt from my friend as well. The design is the image used on the cover of their self-titled EP and I am also quite confident that it’ll turn out good. Had a look at the A3-sized prints today and yeah, they look mighty fine.

So, I at least have some things to look forward to. I am definitely not looking forward to my presentation on Tuesday (since I know, well, jack shit and haven’t really wanted to, y’know, do research) plus the weekend deadline for two assignments. Yeah. And that’s not counting the project assignment I just got for one of my subjects as well. Awesome.

Exams soon too! Hoo-motherfucking-ray.

I’m still very much lukewarm in regards to this whole Bachelor of English thing. Of course, you could say that I’m lukewarm in regards to everything (yeah, including the venerable institution called “life”) but this is the next three years of my life we’re talking about here (as well as, most probably, my entire future,) and I certainly don’t want to be doing something I only have a minimal interest in.

Because right now that’s how I feel — mildly interested. To be frank, I only look forward to one class per week, and that’s just because I like the lecturer. Hey, there must be something likeable about the class if I can wake up at 7-something in the morning, put on a smiley face and actually strive to, y’know, contain my early-morning misanthropy.

I’ve recently taken to giving stock answers to any and all questions about my education so that I: a) end the conversation as quickly as possible; b) spend as little time thinking about my education; c) don’t have to keep on answering the questions that are invariably thrown at me when I express some sort of doubt in my answers “…kot,” “…maybe,” and so on.

Basically, it goes something like “I’m doing a Bachelor of English, going to master in literature, and I’m enjoying it so far.” Note the (faked) lack of doubt and huge lie.

Of course, this whole thing may just be the effects of me subconciously conditioning myself against anything and everything that has to do with education, primarily after the whole “angsty, confused and fucking emo” phase after my SPMs when I was completely unsure of everything.

Come to think of it, I still am confused about everything. And probably angsty, confused and, yes, fucking emo at that.

Ah, life is good.

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Categories: thoughts
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