Home > miscellanies, music, thoughts > nozomanai kagiri owari wa konai

nozomanai kagiri owari wa konai

I’m not someone who’s good at identifying important points/things and condensing said things into basic, concise summaries or synopses. That’s for sure. I’ve mastered the art of saying a lot but without actually saying anything useful, but being concise and meaningful is something I haven’t really gotten to grips with yet. Hell, it took me nearly 2 years to figure out that “ringkasan karangan” thing in upper-secondary level Bahasa, and even then I was generally crap at it.

Perhaps never actually listening in class had something to do with it, but the jury’s out on that.

(haha)

I’m beginning to wonder whether this whole English thing is right for me. I definitely speak (and write) the language well, but all this writing I’m having to do (and will probably need to do more in the near future) isn’t sitting well with me. It’s not like it’s actually a lot (the occasional walls of text I churn out on this here blog probably make all my work seem insignificant), but when you’re the type of person that likes to ignore “creative” work until “the time is right”, 2 pages is a mighty large amount.

Particularly when there’s a certain standard of quality to be adhered to. No-one would want me churning out drivel, least of all me. After all, I am the poster boy for setting unbearably high standards. Probably.

Leaving things until the real last minute seems to be the only thing that works for me these days. Of course, it results in much wailing and gnashing of teeth beforehand, but I find that under said conditions, my standards are lower and words flow much more freely. To a certain point, of course. I don’t think I’d ever be able to write a 10-page assignment on my biological and emotional/mental development over the past 18 years (or something like that) in one night.

But, then again, who knows?

This frankly doesn’t bode well for me during the exams.

I still remember clearly how I stared at a blank piece of paper for an hour thinking about nothing when I should’ve (and could have, actually, since I, y’know, knew the answers) been answering questions like “What caused the downfall of the Roman Empire?” and “What is civil disobedience?”

Frankly, I don’t know™ where this is going. I’m complaining about not being able to write, but a quick glance at my previous posts would signify the opposite.

It’s a mentality problem, this. But how do I try and change this screwed up mental attitude of mine?

With great difficulty.

Har har har.

And, in closing, I leave you with this.

Messiah Marcolin sure knows how to move.

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Categories: miscellanies, music, thoughts
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