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silence is sexy.

Nur ich & ich & ich & Tinitus
Wenn die Musik endlich aufhört
Ganz von selbst…

While sitting in the bathroom and taking my obligatory morning shit I came to realize how “noisy” the world today actually is. I can get by in most situations without noticing the fact that I not only suffer from tinnitus, but that my tinnitus is actually getting worse.

It’s not just the music I play when I’m at my computer, but regardless of where I am there’s always someone talking, there’s always the sound of cars passing or air-conditioning units humming in the background. Even sitting on a bench looking out over a large man-made lake is not a silent affair. The wind blows, carries the voices of people on the opposite side of the lake, and silence is again unachievable.

Silence is something that’s achieved much less often than we think. The hush that falls upon a clasroom of rowdy teenagers as a particularly strict teacher walks into the classroom does not equate silence, as I so often thought. No words escape their mouths, but the various coughs and sighs emanating from inside their bodies, their heavy breaths and the sound of a squeaky ceiling fan all conspire to render the “silence” not actually silent.

I dislike tinnitus. But without it I would never really be able to appreciate and know what silence actually is.

Of course, I’ll never know true silence. Ever.

Because of the ringing in my ears. The never-ending ringing.

Your silence is not sexy at all….

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